Uncle Taylor is "House Sitting", but I never really understood what that means. He's not camped out on the roof or anything. All he does is sit on the couch, talk to some imaginary friend through a black thing that looks like one of my squeaker toys, and eat the food Mom and Dad stocked the fridge with for him. And all while he's getting paid! I never even get to leave the house or the backyard. That money could have gone towards more toys or treats for me!
I guess I can't complain too much because I never have to go to my room, and he doesn't even notice me digging or talking to the neighbors while I'm outside. I get plenty of sun time as long as I pace around enough or lick his face. And the more I whine, the more outside time I get. Didn't take long to figure that one out! Clearly these people underestimate my genius status. Maybe I should get a job for apple at their genius bar or whatever I hear Dad talking about. Is that the same as the bacon bar I've heard Mom's friends talk about? You know the one where their dogs get treats with bacon grease on them? Cause I'm all over that like a cat on catnip if that's the case!
For the entire week they are gone, Taylor never leaves the couch. This is alright by me because it means I get to sleep in Mom and Dad's bed and I make the cats sleep with him. More room for me! But he doesn't pay much attention to me. I whine, he lets me outside, I pace, he lets me outside, I lay down, he makes me get up and go outside. It's like he doesn't like me or something. What's a guy got to do to get someone to play fetch with him?
It's a good thing I'm here though, because someone has to keep those cats in line! If it weren't for me they would sleep the whole day away instead of getting up and getting some exercise when we play tag. It's like they don't understand the game. I tag them, they are supposed to then be it and tag someone else not continue to run away! Won't they ever learn?
Anyways . . . while I'm here enjoying this king sized bed to myself, guarding the house, taking care of the cats, and getting all the socialization outside that I don't really want, I hope Mom and Dad are enjoying their vacation....but they better bring me something!