Adoption is something that makes up who I am and everything my family is about. If you haven't been around here long, you may not know that both my brother and I are adopted. We aren't biological siblings and we aren't from the same country, be he is my brother through and through. Growing up, our family got lots of questions, some appropriate, and some not so much around adoption. My mom shared this video with me yesterday made by an adoptive family and some of the questions and comments people have made to them. It got me thinking about some of the questions we've received over the years and what I really think about them.
Is that your real mom?
Are you asking if that's my birth mom or if that's my adoptive mom? Because those are two different people and I'm not sure what you mean by "real" mom. They are both my mom in different ways so I need you to clarify a bit.
Is he speaking Chinese?
No he's speaking english, he just has a speech impediment and anyways he's from Korea, not China. And he only lived in Korea for 5 and a half months, so he didn't really pick up the language in that timeframe.
Was your brother more expensive than you?
Really?!? Actually, no.
Now that you've met your birth parents, do you get more presents?
Yes, I went through the overwhelming emotional roller coaster of meeting 9 new people to get a couple more gifts each Christmas.
Is your birth father rich?
Nope, with the five other children he has, he's no Richie Rich and won't be writing me million dollar checks anytime soon, nor do I expect him to.
So when is your real mom coming to visit?
I don't understand what you're asking. Again, do you mean when is my birth mom coming to visit?
What was wrong with your birth parents that they couldn't keep you?
Nothing was wrong with them, they are perfectly healthy smart individuals. They made a decision that another family could better take care of me at that time in their lives.
So when did you find out you were adopted?
I don't remember ever finding out I was adopted. My parents didn't just sit me down one day when I was 15 and tell me, I just knew. When did you find out you weren't adopted?
Did your birth mom like show up at your front door one day and surprise you?
This isn't some lifetime movie, it's my real life. No she didn't show up at my doorstep one day, I actually found her online and we emailed back and fourth for several months before meeting.
I get that you're adopted, but why don't you know your medical history?
I didn't come with a list of vaccinations or total family tree diagram. I haven't met my birthparents and was given zero medical history with all of my adoption paperwork. Sorry, Charlie.
Questions my Mom got:Where did you get him?
We used to like to tell people we got him in isle 12 or that we stole him from an unsuspecting family.
Which one is yours?
This big Asian one standing on 1st base.
So is your husband asian?
I have no problem talking about adoption, and actually I really enjoy it, but it never ceases to amaze me that lack of knowledge people have about adoption. In the past couple years, my parents and I have thrown around the idea of writing down our story and making a book. A compilation of each of our experiences from each of our view points including my parents, my brother, myself, my husband, and my birth parents. I've been fortunate enough to not only have amazing parents and an amazing brother, but I also have very positive relationships with my birth parents and their families. But every story, every person, and every adoption is different. And I would love to tell our story, from each of our perspectives. We are all part of the same story, but we all have experienced and felt things in very different ways.