Since the whole Christina's Goodbye on Grey's happened on Thursday night and we all know that I had to stay up passed my bedtime to watch it (yes I'm old), I wasn't able to recap until today. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who cried and who was expecting more! No teary goodbye at the airport, no I love you and want you to stay from Owen, and no real life threatening catastrophe that leaves you breathless and frustrated that you have to wait an entire summer to find out who lives. Maybe it's because they have put that cast through pretty much any disaster possible that they've run out of things to do, or maybe I have just been accustomed to these absolutely insane things happening, but I was a little disappointed with the season finale.
Of course as soon as it was over I texted one of my "people", my best friend Lindsey. Because I obviously knew she was watching it and I had to know what she thought. And like I assumed, she felt the same way! But throughout the episode, it got me thinking about best friends and how important they are in our lives. Lindsey is definitely one of my "people", just like Christina is to Meredith. She and I don't have to talk every day to still be friends. We understand that the other has a busy life, and although it was really sad and a hard adjustment to go from seeing her every day at work to only seeing her maybe once a week, it's still the same every time.
Over the years, I've had a lot of friends come in and out of my life. When I was 14, I moved 3,000 miles away from any thing and any friend I'd even known. Saying goodbye to them was hard, but I had always figured I move back for college, or move back when I was older. Now being "older" I never really see that in my future. All the trips back to visit that I thought I'd make became one visit every couple years. The promises to write and call all the time, to email and always keep in touch turned to never getting or sending a wedding invite and barely knowing the person you see in Facebook posts. There are people in your life that are your person for periods of time, and we have to be okay with the fact that it might not last forever.
I struggle with letting go of the way I imagine things or want things to turn out. Just ask my husband, plans change or don't work out the way I want them to and it can be a struggle to change my mind. (Don't even get me started on how much of a struggle it is when I go out to eat and the restaurant doesn't have what I went there for!) Coming to the realization that friendships have changed is one of the toughest things I've dealt with, even harder than coming to that same realization in past relationships. It's hard to let go of someone you thought you would end up with fifty years later on the same bowling league or sitting on the front porch drinking iced tea and laughing. Friends come and go into our lives, and while I thought middle school sucked, this whole adult friendship/work/marriage juggling thing is so much harder.
We all change as we grow up, get married, and have kids. I wasn't a part of many of my friends' lives when they got married so I didn't have to go through that adjustment, but I'm now seeing friends have babies and meet new friends though work or their spouses and it's tough. I'm finding it hard to let go of the friendship and memories we had and realize that things will be different now. While I'm over the moon happy for them, I'm sad to think of how different our friendships will be. I've met tons of amazing ladies through this blog, but never one who I've gotten to know much in my own area. And while I'd love to jump on a plane and meet some of those ladies, but I know that isn't really financially possible all the time. So how do we adjust to our new people, or loosing our people we thought would always be there.
If only our lives were as easy as elementary school where even if your best friend wasn't in your class, you could play with them at recess and have them over after school for a playdate. Can't we go back to the time where there were nap times, afternoon snacks, and recess everyday? Life seemed a bit simpler then :)