National Adoption Month: Our Story | Health, Love & Fire

National Adoption Month: Our Story

Thursday, November 12, 2015

November is national adoption month, which is something very close to my heart and something I consider at the core of who I am and what defines myself and my family.

Adoption is something I grew up knowing and that I grew up thinking was the norm. A friend once asked me how old I was when my parents told me that I was adopted, and I honestly couldn't come up with an answer. I guess it's like anything else you're used to. Unless you find out there's a different way to do something, you assume that everyone does it your way. The same goes for adoption. I thought that's how everyone built their family. Wouldn't family tree projects be even more interesting and difficult to follow if that was the case?

I can remember the day I was officially adopted at a little over 2 years old and I remember going through the process to adopt my brother when I was 4. I love that it is a part of my story and a part of my memories.

Our story, like everyone else's is different. It wasn't a simple sign papers and be done with it, it was more complicated for my parents and my birth parents than that. But it's just that, it's our story. I've never been more thankful or amazed by my parents until I became one. Once I had my daughter in my arms, all the struggles and trials my parents went though to build their family resonated with me even more.
I've learned over the years from discussions with friends, acquaintances and even strangers that adoption is different for everyone. Just as two people could walk the exact same path but see two different visions, every adoption story is different. Because of this it can be difficult to navigate the feelings and emotions associated with the adoption process, meeting birth parents and all the other thoughts and questions that arise. There's no blueprint that tells you how to feel about meeting or knowing your birth parents, or if you should even have that desire to know more. There's not rules about how your relationship should look if you decide to meet your birth parents and their family. This unknown is definitely something that makes all of those things more difficult, but interesting at the same time.

I'm lucky enough to not only have the most amazing parents, but to also have a relationship with both my birth mother and birth father and with their families. And while I may be closer to some of them than others, the sense of peace that I have from knowing more about my background and my birth parents is so comforting. We don't live close to each other or talk every day, but I'm thankful for the relationship I have built with them that continues to grow!

When I made the decision to try to find my birth parents and meet them, it wasn't because I didn't love my parents or I wanted new ones, I just always wondered about my biological past and family history. I'm closer to my parents than most people I know, and have the type of relationship where we are family but also best friends. I feel so blessed to have the greatest parents and also be able to have a relationship with my birth parents. And as my family grows, so does my extended one, which just means more people to share our happiness and photos of Harper with.

I understand adoption isn't for everyone and not all stories will have the happy endings our family has, but I'm thankful it is a part of our story and who I am. I look forward to teaching Harper about how our family was made, and maybe one day make adoption part of Dan & my story.

If your interested in reading any more about our story, check out some of my other adoption posts:
Finding Answers Part 1
Finding Answers Part 2
Ridiculous Adoption Questions & Answers

20 comments :

  1. Love your story! Thank you for sharing with us!

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  2. This is such a wonderful and inspiring story! Thank you for sharing with us all. :)

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  3. Love reading your story catching up on your other adoption posts. Love how open you are about it all! Such a great perspective to share.

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  4. What a great adoption story! I love hearing about them.

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  5. oh this is so beautiful! we haven't decided if we would have kids, but if yes, we would adopt for sure! so nice to see how much love you have for your parents! <3

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  6. What a beautiful story! My husband and I cannot have children, and we are deciding now what path we want to walk. We both teach children with behavioral and emotional disorders, and we have not yet decided if our efforts are best spent there or in becoming foster parents. We are in the process of weighing options and seeking guidance.

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  7. Wonderful story! We are in the process of deciding whether or not we are going to pursue adoption, and stories like these help!

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